Dear Mr. Hormel,

Thank you for your delightful luncheon meat. I love to slather it with peanut butter and roast it over a camp fire. Mmm.

Incidentally, I have a website that is all about SPAM. I think your site would benefit greatly from a corporate sponsorship with us.

Regards,
Douglas Twitchell
The Anti Spam Site

P.S. Don't let the site name scare you off; we're not against YOUR SPAM...it's that other kind of spam we don't like

Dear Mr. Nike,

I like how your name looks like it should be pronounced with one syllable, to rhyme with Mike, but instead it's pronounced with two syllables to rhyme with...uh...crikey! Very cool.

Anyway. I never buy your shoes, because they are way too expensive for me. Mainly that's because I don't have much money, because I can't find a corporate sponsor for my website.

Speaking of which, if you'd like to add some subliminal advertising for my site in your advertising campaigns, then I'd have enough money to buy your shoes, and that would help your business in the long run.

Looking forward to hearing from you.
Douglas Twitchell
The Anti Spam Site

P.S. I know, you're probably wondering what shoes have to do with spam. I'm wondering the same thing. But maybe you could hire a P.R. expert to come up with a connection.

Thanks.

Dear Mr. Spammer,

I thought you'd like to know that I advertised your website on my Anti Spam Website. I devoted an entire page to how stupid you are.

In appreciation, would you be interested in helping to sponsor this site? Or maybe just give a donation?

Regards,
Douglas Twitchell
The Anti Spam Site

P.S. You're probably not wondering why in the world you'd pay me to insult you. The reason you're not wondering that is because you're so stupid.