Artistic spam: Like Skunks in Tuxedos

Unlike most articles in the Black List, this article is not really here to advise the recipients of spam. Its purpose is to advise those who are considering sending spam.

Yesterday I received six pieces of spam from the same company. Today I received three more. Yes, that's right; a total of nine unsolicited emails in just over 24 hours. It was from a firm that specializes in marketing art. Several of the emails were informing me about a sale of artwork by Andre Breton.

Now, I have to tell you, these were the classiest looking pieces of spam I have ever received. There was nothing 'cheesy' about them. The graphics were well designed and creative, the text was artistically placed, and there were no garish colors in the entire piece of spam. For spam, it was quite attractive.

So what's the problem? The problem is that, no matter how well you dress it up, spam is still just spam. Trying to be artistic, intellectual, or highbrow in a piece of unsolicted email is like trying to dress a skunk up in a tuxedo.

It's still a skunk. It still looks like a skunk. It still smells like a skunk. And nobody in their right mind will say "Oh...what a cute little skunk dressed up in a tuxedo! Let's go pet it!"

So it is with this art dealer. His spam looks nice, but no matter how nice he might look, he's still just a spammer. He looks like a spammer. He smells like a spammer. And I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole!

A Helpful Hint
It's all about image. The moment you click 'send' on that piece of spam, you have created your image. Before the recipient even gets close enough to read your spam, he can smell it. Decide what kind of image you want your company to have. Then act accordingly.

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